Well, I think the readership has dried up, and that's probably ok. That's what you get for moving to the quietest corner of the intarweb tubes.
So. Just you and me and the coyotes, son. The occasional tumbleweed. I think I saw a field mouse in the claws of a redtail.
But the solitude gives us a chance to talk about what we're doing about the soon and the now.
Coming up on the long 4th of July weekend. Get a bonus day off 7/3 that I didn't know about and didn't expect. This coming off a slow work week that found me at home early, often napping. Highly productive. But much like Memorial Day weekend the kids are off somewhere else. The luck of the alternating weekends has not favored me. I've been invited to join them on the 4th itself up at a Mt. Hood cabin but think I'll decline. It would be with a group of other folks, all people that we were social with as a couple. This includes, oddly, one of my ex's former lovers from the time of her 1st marriage's decline. He's been married (happily?) for many years now, but there has always been some speculation that he was not pleased about my arrival in the picture way back when.
So no, I'll skip it. Nobody needs that kind of nervous tension, the unease of marital breakdown, on America's birthday.
But what to do with myself? My social network here in Portland is so small and the few usual players are not immediately around. It appears I'll be solo all weekend. I have a bag full of fireworks and alas, nobody to share them with. I'm enjoying the time to myself, but I get a lot of it during the week, and despite my occasional social phobias I'm realizing that I need to have more human contact than I am getting now. I guess I'm lonely? Is it really that simple? I hesitate to say it because I think that term immediately smacks of desperation, and that's not the way I feel. I don't feel like I'm clinging to whoever I come in contact with. I just want some company. Quality company. The last couple times I've been out I've had that and it's been really wonderful and refreshing. Is it wrong to want more?
***REGRETTABLE AND POORLY-CONCEIVED SIMILE ALERT.
PLEASE SET HOMELAND SECURITY THREAT LEVEL TO ORANGE***
PLEASE SET HOMELAND SECURITY THREAT LEVEL TO ORANGE***
I, like America, have independence. And that's good. I'm doing more with it than I did the last time this came around in my early 20s. I'm making positive life changes, dumping my spiritual tea in my Boston Harbor, voting my psychological GWBushes out of office, freeing my emotional slaves.
Yes, I went there. Sorry.
But America can't do it on its own, nor can I. I could use someone else in my life. A Canada. A Mexico. Perhaps in a pinch, a Honduras. A goddamned NATO would be just fine by me, too.
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off-topic: here's what I'm listening to lately. It's a downright summer jam from an otherwise confusing and challenging art rock band. I'd spend my 4th of July seeing them @ Holocene but I missed the sale.
But America can't do it on its own, nor can I. I could use someone else in my life. A Canada. A Mexico. Perhaps in a pinch, a Honduras. A goddamned NATO would be just fine by me, too.
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off-topic: here's what I'm listening to lately. It's a downright summer jam from an otherwise confusing and challenging art rock band. I'd spend my 4th of July seeing them @ Holocene but I missed the sale.
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