insomnia delirium

For one glorious week I'm living back in Portland, getting to actually play full-time working dad while the fe-w jaunts off to Europe on a business trip. It's great being with the kids daily, although I'm having trouble sleeping and my eyes itch in a way they didn't when I moved out of this house 5 months ago. Did I lose my cat dander tolerance? Some new cleaning product? Something in bloom here that doesn't extend its reach north of the Columbia River?

Spent some time with a friend over the weekend who is encouraging me to set up an online dating profile on thePortland Mercury. I haven't committed to that yet, mainly because...I don't know. It's too depressing. And another friend that has used that site did not have many good things to say about her experiences. But at friend #1's request I did start looking around. Mostly it's a crushing waste of time. There are a staggering number of hipsters who just wouldn't go for my type. But there are just enough intriguing women (well, 2) that I can't help but wonder if it would be worth the effort and potential public embarrassment. One is even my age.

But how can I sell myself? There's an awful lot of surface baggage to wade through before someone would buy into the concept of me. How's this for a intro line: "recently separated, father of two, Vancouver resident and bastard love child of Ethan Hawke and Charlie Brown wants to hear all about your bowel habits because that's what he does for a fucking LIVING"

Now I think if I can get somebody past those tremendous hurdles that I'm a reasonable fella. But how do you do that on a static web page?

Grumble. I may have too many self-doubts to pull this off. I'm afraid my last chance for romance... 

WOAH!!!! DANCE BREAK! 

Oh, I need you, by me,
Beside me, to guide me,
To hold me, to scold me,
cause when I'm bad
I'm so, so bad

So lets dance, the last dance
Lets dance, the last dance
Lets dance, this last dance tonight!

Yeah, anyway, I'm afraid that my only hope is going to be an inside job. It's going to have to be somebody that gets to know me first THEN decides I'm a reasonable fella. Only time can overcome the deadly trio of hair loss, recent marital destruction and gastroenterology. How I wish it wasn't true. The funny/sad thing is that I'M actually doing a pretty good job of overcoming these obstacles. Just wish I knew how to get others to come on and ride the train.

WOAH!!!! DANCE BREAK! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_Zi-YSW3aQ&feature=player_embedded